You know, I really feel like laughing, hard?
As in, seriously. At how pessimistic I can get..lol. I don't think I've told this to many people, but much of my pessimism is always forced, like I'll force my brain to go "HEY MAN LOUSY YO STOP HOPING LAR HOPE FOR WHAT OBVIOUSLY THE MARGIN TOO BIG NO HOPE RIGHT? DONT BE STUPID" even though the other side of me is thinking like "actually there is a teeny bit of hope blablabla". Because I realised that the more I hope for something the less I get it. Ever heard of something about pessimists are good because they are either always right or they get a pleasnt surprise? I've been thinking that way even before I heard that saying...it just makes me feel good being so pessimistic.

But, I really have to laugh at myself. I've been trying to hard to be pessimistic, I put in so much effort and really FORCE myself to think. I really don't know what im doing or thinking..but now i just find it so damn funny. like im so damn silly to force my self to be pssimistic..
but really i just cant stop it, i have to continue like this.

I mean after all the margin is more than 10, not like 2 or 3. and BAH this is uncanny resemblance to last year
1) own full dress
2)never get slammed
3)couldnt change performance much
4)everyone ego
5)lose and get 2nd
6)sad

just that this year was worse cos no spon champs and everyone was crying also. and what if i never get to feel what worlds is like?

as in everything i said is true, but i still have to laugh at my pessimistic attitude..its just so ridiculously funny.

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

sorry if you tried to encourage me or say nice stuff but i replied with something annoyingly pessimistic. esp huimin. but i just cant stop forcing myself to think like that lol and it just makes me feeel good

ahaha im ridiculous